Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Quality Time at the Beach

Ahhh...the sound of the waves, the smell of the ocean, the feel of my tingling skin after having a siesta on the sand under the sun...I’m at the beach and loving every second! Well, maybe not every second. Last night was a little bit creepy, but I’ll get to that in a bit.

Right now I’m sitting on the balcony with my morning coffee, gazing out into the ocean and about to finish reading “Turn of the Screw” for our bookclub meeting on Wednesay. I am sitting in absolute solitude. There is nobody else around. During the week in the winter, not many people come to the beach and so the only people I have seen in this resort complex so far have been the occasional gardener. What a drastic change it is here compared to the busy life in Santiago where you’re constantly walking and talking with people or pushing and shoving them.

My lungs are so grateful that I’m finally taking a break from the Santiago smog and breathing this delicious clear air. The air here is so pure, your body literally goes dumb from breathing it in all day. Here I tend to sleep a ridiculous of amount of time and I just can’t seem to exercise! Every time I try, I can’t run or do nearly as much exercise as I can when I’m back in Santiago. I’m sure it’s because of the air and the process of detoxification while transitioning into a state of pure clean bliss and relaxation.

The plan was to come to the beach on Friday after E finished work but then I forgot I had two free tickets to Inti Illimani given to me from work and since they are one of my absolute favourite groups, we couldn’t pass up the opportunity. I have actually been waiting to go to one of their concerts ever since the first time I saw them a couple years ago! They are truly amazing. If anyone has not seen them yet, please go! However, make sure you go to the group entitled “Inti Illimani”. There is also a group called “Inti Illimani Historical” (or something along those lines) which is actually a different group. The former is the better of the two in my opinion because they incorporate new talent and instruments into their group and so their music is such a dynamic mix of sound and energy and they get better and better every time. The latter group is a branch off the original group who refuse to change and keep to the same style as all their original songs. I’m not exactly sure on the history but years ago, the original “Inti Illimani” group split up because half of the musicians wanted change and wanted to re-vamp their music a bit by adding in some new members and new ways of doing things while the other half wanted nothing to do with the idea and so the group split.

Like I said, I’ve seen both groups play but the group entitled “Inti Illimani” is just so much better because their music is always evolving and getting better and they always find new ways to incorporate unique sounds and instrumentals. Their music has such power and it captivates me every time. This group holds a firm place in Chilean history and it’s original members were forced to flee the country during the dictatorship because of their leftist ideals. Many of their songs speak of things like revolutions and communism. There is one song entitled, “El Pueblo Unido” (I think that’s right) that is heavily geared towards the lefties and during the chorus, everyone raises their left fist and together in unison pumps it up to the rhythm of the music while singing the chorus...the effect is powerful. Many of their songs contain such meaningful words and you can hear and feel the oppression, determination, and emotion in their voices as they sing. Their music is so lively and energetic and when they add their voices to the mix, it is absolutely spellbinding. In both my times seeing this group in I was fixed in an unbreakable trance until the concert was over. In both concerts, nobody in the audience could stay in their seats for long and before we knew it, everybody was up and dancing, even though on Friday night we happen to be in a theatre! When the group was finally going to take their leave, it took them 4 more songs to satisfy the audience before they could go and even then, the audience was cheering and yelling for more! I left that concert with the same feelings and emotions I had when I saw them for the first time: awe and a deeper connection and understanding of Chile, its history, and the incredible musicians it moulded. You must go see this group!

Anyway, back to the beach...We got back from the concert late and we were both exhausted so we thought it was best to spend the night in Santiago as opposed to braving the 2 hour drive half asleep. Saturday first thing we went to the supermarket and feria and then hit the road. Saturday was spent being lazy and taking a nice long siesta after lunch followed by a walk on the beach where E and I decided to be creative and take some pretty pictures with the camera. That evening we went to our favourite empanada place, which just so happens to be the best empanada place ever. It’s an adorable, rustic little place right on the beach with sand for the floor, candles in paper bags on the tables, and cute little lanterns hanging all over the place. Then we went to our favourite little pastellaria (bakery) to buy some homemade goodies for dessert so we could have something to munch on while we watched, “El Secreto en Sus Ojos”, an Argentine film which turned out to be pretty good!

I don’t even remember what we did Sunday in part because we slept for most of the day and it just went by so fast. The day consisted of some blend of walking on the beach, going to the cute little village just a kilometre or two up the beach, and lounging around. I attempted to go out for a run at some point, but as I’ve mentioned, doing any kind of exercise here is almost impossible and I failed miserably after about 20 minutes.

On Monday morning, bright and early, I went to drop off E just a few beaches down from here where his work was meeting for a two day retreat. This meant I had all of Monday and Tuesday to myself. Monday was glorious! I read all morning, took a walk on the beach, and then took a siesta on the beach. Though the sun was shining, it was still a bit chilly but with my two sweaters and the sun beating down, it was perfect. I even managed to get a bit of a tan/burn on my face! Then I read the rest of the afternoon away and watched a movie. Sigh...such a relaxing day!

Once it started getting dark, I started realizing just how lonely it really was here. As I looked around, I noticed that not a single other person was here at the resort. This resort complex is made up of about 60 apartments strung together in a half moon shape facing the ocean so I can see all of them. It's also very isolated. There are only 3 apartment/resort complexes in this area which are surrounded by a forest on one side and a desolate and empty beach on the other. The actual village is a couple kilometres away and you have to walk down the long empty stretch of beach to get there. Because of these facts, one feels completely isolated in this little corner of the beach. When I noticed that there was not a single other car in the parking lot and not a single other light on in the resort complex, I started remembering a flood of horror movies that took place in exactly this type of setting and of a sudden, my fantastic, relaxing, beach holiday had turned into a creepy horror movie setting! There was even a light mist slowly creeping in off the ocean and everything was so quiet...even the waves appeared to have settled down so I couldn’t hear them as loudly as I usually do. Ahhhhh!!! Then of course my mind started playing tricks on me and I thought I heard someone knocking at my door every so often as well as some freaky noises coming out from the dark abyss that had once been my beautiful view of the ocean. All night these terrifying yet ridiculous scenarios started running through my mind like, what if there was maniac hiding in the forest who noticed that I was all alone and the only one here and wanted to come break in and kill me?! Ahhh! I don’t know how I finally managed to get to sleep last night...I suppose downing half a bottle of wine had something to do with it, but thank-god I finally managed to get some rest. At one point I thought I would have been up all night freaking myself out. Yes, I’m a big baby. But seriously, if you had been here you would have understood!

But alas, I made it through the night and now it’s morning. I’ve just finished my wonderful coffee and breakfast and I think I’ll go walk into town and along the beach for a photo-taking spree. I love this quaint quiet little village. Oh it’s so good to still be in vacation mode on a Tuesday! This week is so wonderful, I only work Wednesday and Thursday and have Friday and Monday off! Whoo hoo! You all probably want to kill me right now. At any rate, I hope everyone’s having a great week!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Beach Bound!

Ahhhh....tomorrow is Friday! How wonderful it is to be at the end of the weekend. It's especially wonderful when you only work half a day on Fridays, and even more wonderful when this week you happen to be going to the beach Friday after work for a total of 5 days!!! YEEESSSS!!!! We haven't been to the beach for this amount of time since Christmas vacation in December! Now that I have been working a regular routine job, I was starting to get sad knowing that I would never have more than 2 days of free time in a row for a long time. But as luck would have it, this weekend is the weekend E and I get to take a nice relaxing beach weekend together! Well, actually, we're not going to be together 100% of the 5 days at the beach, but we will both be at the beach for all of that time. The reason we decided to go to E's beach apartment this weekend was because it just so happens that his work is having a two day long "fun at the beach" time for the employees and since they are doing this fun little outing a mere 10 minutes from E's beach apartment, we thought it would be perfect to go. So on Monday morning, after spending the weekend together at the beach, I will drive my darling finacee to meet with his co-workers at the neighboring beach and then return to the beach apartment where I will have two full glorious days all to myself!!!

As much as I love being with E all the time, it is going to be damn nice to have some down time just for me. I have found that life in the big city is busy and chaotic and leaves little "me time". Almost every day after work I go to meet with friends or do something with E and so by the time I get back to the apartment, it's usually time for bed. Don't get me wrong, I am loving life in the fast lane! It's such a nice change after coming from a small town where I lived a very boring and quiet life. But I definitely think it's necessary to get out of the hectic life for a while and take some time to relax, breathe, and regroup. I'm so looking forward to two straight days of reading non-stop, relaxing on the beach, mozying through the cute little fishing village of a town, and cooking fresh seafood. I'm hoping to break out of my creative rut and draw something as well. I used to be quite the artist until school took over my life and I had no more time to do anything but study! So we'll see how that goes. I CAN'T WAIT!!!

So, that's it for now, but you will be hearing from me again at the beach where I'll have lots more time to write a longer and more interesting post! Happy Friday everyone!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Just Another Random Post :)

Ahhh the weekend is here! It's 10am and I'm sitting here typing while sipping my delicious hot coffee. The perfect morning. My poor baby is still in bed since he didn't get home until 3:30am last night ha ha! Last I heard he was planning on grabbing a few drinks with some friends and coming home early since he was exhausted after a busy week at work. I guess that plan didn't go over too well!

This weekend is another busy weekend for us. Today we have a wedding and tomorrow we have a birthday party and in between we have to go to the feria and clean this apartment since we haven't done it in soooo long! On top of that, this wedding pretty much makes today useless for doing anything else since it starts at 4pm!!! I've never heard of a wedding starting so early but oh well. I'm just hoping they don't do one of those weddings where you go to the ceremony, then have to wait hours before the actual reception. This would suck since the wedding is about an hour from where we live. I'm very curious as to how this will all play out. I guess we'll find out! Well, a wedding is a wedding and I'm happy to attend no matter what happens! It's a wedding of one of E's high school friends so all his good old buddies will be there. It's always fun when we get together with that group!

Off topic, but it appears I'm going to have to do a Mendoza run in the near future. My "en tramite" paper for my temporary residency visa application hasn't come through yet and I only have less than a month left to legally be in Chile. The "en tramite" is a paper that confirms that your visa is on the way and with this paper, you are legally allowed to stay in Chile and travel and work. So until I get that, I'm still a tourist. But I'm actually pretty happy about the prospect of going to Mendoza. I would have to go without E because he's been super busy at work and can't risk the mountain pass closing up like it did with me a couple years ago. At this time of the year it's very risky to go to Mendoza since the weather in the mountains is so variable and the pass can close down from one day to the next without any notice. Once I went with a group of foreigners to Mendoza to renew our tourist cards and we ended up being stuck there for 10 days!!! If something like that were to happen to E he could get fired. So, it looks like I will be going alone, unless I can convince a friend to come with me :) But it will be nice to have some down time and do a little "travelling". I'm a very independent person and love getting the opportunity every now and then to do things on my own. So with or without a friend, it will be a nice little mini-vacation. I can't go the first week of September (which is my last week as a legal toursit in Chile) since it's E's birthday so it's looking like I'm going to have to go in the next two weeks.

Now to change the topic again, work is going great. I'm really happy with the progress and the work that I'm doing there. I'm so thankful that I have been given the opportunity to have this type of internship where the work that I'm doing is actually important and I'm really contributing to the goals of the section. This has been an incredible learning experience and I've been getting some really good feedback from everyone! Only a month and a half left to go and then I'll be done and hopefully working with a real job and a real salary!

So, on the work front I'm happy, on the relationship front, I could not be any happier even if I tried, on the friend front...I have met some of the most wonderful girls here who have been so much fun and so supportive and have made the transition to life in Chile soooo much easier! Work and love is important in one's life, but it's not enough to complete you...I think everyone really needs their group of friends and their own little corner of life to be completely satisfied. I once heard that to be completely happy, you have to look for happiness in various corners of life: friends, family, love, work, past times, etc. Finding all your happiness in one area, is dangerous because you learn to depend too much on that one item and that item ends up defining you. Then if anything goes wrong with that item, you're left feeling destroyed and empty. I'm not sure if it went exactly like that but that's the best way I can remember to put it into words. Basically, the point is to invest your time and energy on various aspects of life, not just one. And I couldn't agree more.

It's so easy to forget about certan areas of life, especially when some big life transition occurs. For example, something that I see a lot (and something that scares me) about the transition into parenthood is that so many times parents end up forgetting all about their friends, quit all their hobbies and past-times, and start to isolating themselves into their own little family circle. I know I probably don't have the right to talk about this since I do not yet have children and have no idea how big of a transition it will be, but I just can't fathom dropping everything once you have children. I've seen it happen so many times and already see it happening to some of E's friends and family. Seeing these scenarios has been good though because it reminds me of what I don't want to be like when I have children. I want to continue making friends and maintaining friendships; I want to continue to run and be active; and most importantly, I want to continue to nurture my relationship with E and not have our worlds revolve around our children 24/7. That may sound like bad parenting but I think it's sometimes necessary and for the kids to be happy, the parents have to be happy too. E and I both feel the same and have talked about this aspect often. I think it's great that we can identify the dangers of parenthood and determine early on how we want to try to live our lives in the future. I know I know, to any of you parents reading this, you're probably thinking "It's easy to talk the talk" but I really want to remember this and strive to maintain a healthy and balanced life in the future. It might be incredibly difficult, especially at the beginning, but I think it will be worth the sacrifice in the end!

Okay and that concludes my random "all over the place" post for the day! I realize that many of my posts usually contain various different topics and I'll try to be more organized in the future but when I start writing, words and thoughts just start sprawling out on the page and before I know it, I have 5 different topics going all at once. I'll work on that. But for now, bear with me :)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Running in the Rain

This morning I had the most glorious run. After reading this first sentence, most people would immediately think of sunshine, birds chirping, and blue skies. Not the case. This morning I got up at 6:20am, as I normally do when I go for a run, had a morning coffee, and took off at 7:10 to start my run. As soon as I stepped out, I felt the fog engulf me. There was a faint drizzle in the air that was so light it felt more like a spray. At first I couldn't see the fog because it was still quite dark out but after a few kilometers, when the light started slowly creeping in, I noticed that the city was covered in a blanket of mist. It was such a mysterious and enchanting feeling running through the quite streets, feeling the comfort of the light mist clinging to my skin and cooling me down. The feeling immediately took me back to the Inca Trail where for four days we had the same type of mysterious fog and cool spray surrounding us as we hiked. I find these conditions so comforting, god knows why.

As I ran into the busier part of town (Tobalaba area) the sight began to look like something out of a movie. I couldn't see the tops of any of the sky scrapers because they were reaching up into the fog. Everything seemed so quiet and eerie and peaceful even though there were people about. There is something so calming about the fog. As I ran past the building I work in, thinking that in a mere hour and a half I would be there, working away infront of my computer, I couldn't help wishing that I didn't have to go in to work today and could instead just keep on running as long as my legs could keep up. Oh the freedom of being a student! I know I've always said I was sick of studying and wanted to finally experience the professional life, but now I'm remembering with a pang the carefree life of a student. Sigh...

Though the fog eventually let up, the day remained dark and drizzly, which I loved, especially after so many days of sun. I love sun, but after a ton of it, I start to feel a desperation for the rain. Maybe it's the Aquarian in me that's always searching for water. Or am I just weird? At work today, I had my first official meeting with the new boss of our section and when he commented about the rainy day, I couldn't help but tell him how much I was enjoying it. Then, if that wasn't strange enough, when he told me that he was feeling a bit of winter depression since he had just gotten to Chile from the sunny and hot Northern summer, I proceeded to tell him how much I enjoyed the winter and the short days as well as all the rain that came with them. So now, to him, I like dark, cold, rainy days...could I sound any more depressed? After the meeting, once I thought about what I'd said, it occured to me that if he was really into all that psychoanalytical Freudian mumbo jumbo psychology that so many Chileans here are into, he would have interpreted my love for rain and the dark as a "dark" and "unstable" personality or possibly worse ha ha.

I promise you that I am none of these things. I am not depressed and I do not have a dark or unstable personality. I am generally a very happy, optimistic, adventurous, and outgoing individual. If I had to guess, I would say that my love for the not so popular weather and temperatures has to do with: Number one: me having sensitive eyes. I swear, if I'm in the sun for too long I start to get migranes. Number two: I am generally always hot and always feel the need to be in cool places so when I'm in the middle of the summer in a city of concrete (and not infront of a body of water) I get quite uncomfortable and cranky. I feel more sane and stable in the cooler weather. And number three: as I previously mentioned, I'm an aquarius and since water is our sign and our element, I'm sure there's some kind of astrological explanation for my love of water coming out of the sky. I don't know, you decide. Am I weird or do these explanations sound reasonable? Does anybody else share this love of the cold and rain with me? Because I have yet to meet someone that does! No? I didn't think so...

And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to finish reading my book in my cozy little bed with my sturdy little estufa flickering away beside me and the glorious and comforting sound of the rain tapping against my window. Good night!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Dancing the Night Away!

I told my friends I would blog about this night and so now I am! Last night I was reminded of the importance and absolute necessity of having girls nights out. Last night a bunch of my new girl friends here in Santiago and I got together for drinks and appies and then went out to dance! The classic girls night out. It's definitely fun going out with the men but it's different. Going out with the girls you can feel free to just be crazy and let loose and dance with whomever you please. There's a different vibe in the air and you don't feel like you have to stick with your partner the whole time or entertain them if they don't happen to know anyone...though don't get me wrong, I love going out with E too. It's just different. Once in a while I enjoy the opportunity to be independent and free. I think everyone needs their down time with the "guys" or "girls" or "possy" or whatever you want to call one's close group of friends.

The night started out by going to "gringa number 1's" house. We'll call her S. We all brought drinks and appies and enjoyed a nice evening of great food and great conversation. After happy hour is when things started to get a little more crazy. We went to the club around 12:30am, which of course is still early for Chilean partygoers, and the place was quite empty. It was nice however to have a bit of space in the club at the beginning for getting 2x1 drinks without the line up and taking over the dance floor and hanging out.

After about an hour, once we started kicking back the piscolas and the place started to get more crowded, the night really took off. There was such a great vibe in the place, the music was great, and we danced non stop until about three something am. There were some really cool guys that joined our dancing group throughout the night (and other, not so cool guys) who also happened to be professional break dancers!!! Various times throughout the evening almost everyone in the club formed a circle and people took turns dancing in the middle. I love it when that happens. So we all got to show off our dancing skills one at a time ha ha. Every time one of the break dancers took the stage, the crowd went wild and everyone was clapping and cheering them on. They were really good! And they were sweet, not the dirty type of guy that tries to hit on you at the club. We had other randoms join our dancing group that evening as well, some were good dancers, some sucked, but we could all care less because we were just having too much fun. The thing that killed me was my friend S who went about and started twirling random people around ha ha! I quote, "I love to see them twirl!" It may not sound very funny but you had to be there. She was going around twirling everyone in sight. Throw in a bunch of drunk gringas and everything is funny. Great way to meet new people though ha ha! That and her falling down on the dance floor were some of the various highlights of the evening. Oh man, too much fun!

So now it's almost 1pm and I am happily sitting in my bed, hungover yet content and smiling while remembering last nights events. My wonderful E has gone out to the feria to buy our weekly produce (I heart my man) while I sit here lazily sipping my coffee and wondering what we should do today. I think this is a great day for exploring a new part of Santiago. Perfect.

And now I'm off to make breakfast...or lunch...brunch!!! That sounds good to me! Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone! And thanks to all my wonderful new friends here that made last night so much fun! Can't wait to do it again!

Friday, August 6, 2010

We Officially Found the Coolest Priest in the World!!!

I could not be happier at this moment. E and I have finally checked off one of the most important things on our wedding to do list: last night we met THE coolest, funniest, happiest, sweetest, most adorable priest I have ever had the pleasure of meeting in my entire life!!! I didn't know priests like this even existed! Where are they hiding!?

If you read my last post you'll know that just after writing it I was off to meet our potential priest with E. We had never met or even talked before last night. I was given his information from a fellow Chile spouse and I will forever be thankful to her for giving me this precious dato! This particular Chile Spouse wrote an email to me singing his praises and after reading it, I was sold and I arranged to meet with him through email. I had previously sent out a request to the invaluable Chile spouse network for information regarding priests because the priest who was originally going to celebrate our wedding "accidently" booked another couple for our wedding date, even though we have been telling him for months now. Oh well, he's old, I'll let it slide. I didn't know the guy anyway, it was more E's family priest so it wasn't a big deal to me. Now I am so happy E's priest backed out or else we would have never met this new one!

In the original email I sent out via Chile spouses looking for anyone who knew of a good priest, I told the ladies that E and I were looking for someone more on the modern side who is personable and easy going...unlike so many of the stuffy, traditional, overly-conservative priests out there. Not that there's anything wrong with very traditional priests, but it just makes me feel uncomfortable and I don't want my wedding to be rigid and strict and unpersonable. So when this Chile spouse wrote me back saying that she knew of a priest that was everything I was looking for and more, I had to meet him!

Trying to arrange a meeting with this guy however was a bit tricky. I first emailed him to see if he was available for our wedding date. He wrote back saying yes he was, and immediately took my email as a request for his services on our wedding date. He wrote that we could be in touch by email and eventually closer to the wedding, get in touch. I didn't know how to write back to tell him that we actually wanted to meet him first before we officially asked him to be our priest. I guess in Chile, it's not very common for people to get to know their priests before they get married. So I typed about 5 emails to him trying to side step the main issue, which was telling him we wanted to meet him before we decided on him, in a nice and un-offensive manner. However, he didn't seem to get my drift and I'm sure he ended up thinking that I was a wacked out bridezilla who wanted to meet and plan the ceremony asap. So finally in my last attempt to communicate my point across to him, I was a bit more blunt, figuring I had nothing to lose and told him we would be more comfortable meeting him before we actually made any decisions. Luckily he understood and wrote back jokingly saying it was great that I was "window shopping" for priests and was looking for someone who would best suit us. And with that, we finally arranged our meeting.

It turns out he really is everything we were looking for and more! We went to pick him up at his house and take him out to dinner and we were quite surprised to see a very tall and un-Chilean looking man open the door! The moment we all met and said our hellos, we felt like old friends. There was an instant connection, the kind that people feel with those they end up being friends with for the rest of their lives. From the moment we met, the conversation didn't stop flowing. This guy was so hilarious, I was cracking up constantly! I was so worried I had offended him with my previous insistant emails and told him I was sorry if I he felt like I wanted to interview him or whatever but I wasn't used to the way things were here in Chile regarding religious customs and priest hunting lol (since they tend to be a lot more traditional with their religious practices down here). He ended up turning it into one big joke and the entire night, every few minutes he would ask, "So Lou, how am I doing? Am I passing the test?" and things like that, to which I would burry my head in shame and turn bright red. From then on he referred to me as the priest window shopper (Sounds funnier in Spanish ha ha! It's not really translatable to English.). So I guess that will forever be our little joke.

Everything he described to us regarding the wedding ceremony was exactly what we wanted. He also reminded us that we are in charge and to not let people step all over our wishes, including him. He gave us so much useful advice and told us we could meet as many times as we wanted to discuss wedding related things. He's so down to Earth and is just the type of person that would stick in our lives forever. E and I can't wait to get together with him again and are already planning the next outing. As soon as he stepped out of the car to leave and we said our goodbyes, E was like, "Omg I love him!" We were both so amazed and impressed. It's like it was meant to be. I know that to some people the priest isn't such a big deal, but for us it's huge. For me it's important to have our priest involved in our lives and have a relationship with him. I have been a little lost in my religion for a long time now and I feel like I've finally met the spiritual leader I need to help me get back in touch with my faith. We need more priests like him in our religion. I'm so tired of all the radical, traditional, boring, crazy religious leaders out there.

This priest made us feel so comfortable. He told us that we would go through everything and practice enough so that we would be completely relaxed and comfortable at the ceremony. And then he said that whenever we get nervous during the ceremony or forget what we're supposed to do etc, to just look at him for strength and confidence. He told us that ultimately, the wedding ceremony is between us and him and God and that in that moment, that's all that matters. I thought it was so sweet that he wanted to make us feel like we're in this together and that he'll be there for everything and help us through. What more could I ask for in a priest? Seriously!? It's great, I feel like I've discovered an inspirational new spiritual leader and role model as well as a new friend. We're planning to go to his chapel next week to his Sunday ceremony and he was so happy about it. He's like, "Okay just let me know ahead of time which mass you're coming to so I can prepare a good homily!" ha ha. So cute! I can't wait to introduce him to our families!

Okay, I guess that's enough raving about our new priest! I can't believe we found him! That's one more big important thing crossed off our wedding list! Now it's just time to get on with these invitations and start planning a few of the little personal details we want to put together. I can't believe it's already August! We're getting married in 4 months!!! That's nothing!!! Where did the time go!!?!? And I already feel like anti-bride. I was off to a good start but now I've majorly slowed down and haven't been doing anything wedding related for quite some time. It's time to pick it back up again! And soon!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

This is My Life

Oh life...would you believe that I still can't believe this is my life yet? It just hasn't hit me. Well, I guess it's not too outrageous a thought seeing as I've not yet been here 2 months, but today it just hit me that I'm still in vacation mode and am still waiting around wondering when that crisis moment of "Oh my god this is my life!! NOW WHAT!?!?!" to hit me and it hasn't yet. I keep waiting for the day to come where I will start to feel a little regret for having left my easy life in Canada and start to hate everything about living life in this difficult yet beautiful and charming country. Usually one of those little break down moments would have already happened by now. I am still waiting for the day I will completely break down and cry my eyes out wishing I had just a bit more time left back in Canada with my beloved friends and family and doggie. I know it's only the two month mark and I'm bound to have some of those "Omg what am I doing here!?!" moments eventually, but so far, nothing. And I'm hoping it will stay that way for a while. In all my previous occasions spent living here, there was always the thought of returning to Canada holding me together during the rough times. This time however, I don't get to use Canada as a bubble of comfort.

This time seems different altogether though and this time I have reasons for being extremely happy and content here, besides E of course. This time I have a purpose. I am doing something that I love, with a clear goal in mind of where I want to go. I am surrounded by things that are mind. I have my own apartment, my own space, my own friends, my own job, my own neighborhood, my own sushi corner, my own starbucks, my own pastellaria, and my own surroundings. I've never felt like this in Chile before where I've created this cozy little nest amidst this big, busy, bursting city which I so lovingly call my own. In the past I've been stuck living with the in-laws, teaching English, and because of that, had little contact with anyone besides my students. Teaching English is great, but you can get so isolated doing it...travelling the city by yourself, never meeting the other teachers, and having way too much free time at odd hours of the day when everyone else is busy. Add to that never having any privacy or personal space and it can cause anyone to buckle.

Up until this moment, I am happy. During every other time I've lived in Chile, I've had one or two of those break down moments where I would bawl and complain about the hard Chilean life and about missing my family and friends and poor E would have to come comfort me and hug and kiss me until I calmed down. Lucky enough for us, those moments were always rare and lasted only a few minutes. As soon as E came to my side to rescue me in my moments of desperation, I forgot all my whining and complaining and remembered the reason that made everything worthwhile...having the man of my dreams right by my side. And I would eventually snap out of it. Though I'm sure many readers feel I am a little naive and occasionally think I am living in lah-lah land, I do know that life is not perfect...especially in Chile. I know I will have many of these little emotional crises again in the future. I know I will get pissed off at Chile and the people here and want to get on the next plane back to Canada. But those moments are always short lived and generally, I am happy living here. This time it seems I'm off to a good start and won't be banging my fists against the wall wishing I was back in Canada anytime soon.

Ah, what a perfect time to write a post. Home and cozy snuggled up in my bed with the estufa on right beside me. I've been sick the last couple days and haven't gone to work. I actually tried going in to work today but was confronted by worried colleagues who told me to go home. Shut down! So here I am, back in bed. However, I do have to get some work done because things are getting really busy at my job with a bunch of deadlines fast approaching.

To close off this post, I will leave you with big news! Well, big news for me! My job has decieded to start paying me!!! Ha ha, I just realized how funny that sounds for a person who hasn't read previous posts and doesn't know what's going on. As my devout readers know, I'm in the midst of an unpaid internship, and today just before I gave up work to come home and sit in bed to get rid of this sickness or whatever it is that I have, my wonderful amazing boss came to tell me that they want to start paying me! My boss was so adorable about it and seemed to be just as excited as I was. She said she's been wanting to tell me about this forever now but she had to wait for new management to take over our section and pass it by them but it seems everything worked out and I will no longer be working for free! Woo hoo!!! Well, they will only be giving me an honorarium monthly amount which isn't much, but it's something! And it will definitely help with living and wedding planning expenses! Now I can finally feel like I'm contributing! Poor E has been supporting us for way too long!

Alright, enough blogging, now back to work. Tonight E and I are going to meet a potential priest to perform our wedding ceremony! We've had a bit of a fiasco trying to find a priest but I'll save that for my next blog so stay tuned!